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The Grammys 2008

I can't remember the last time I cared about the freakin' Grammys. Chicago was well representing this year, and of course I was curious about Amy Winehouse's performance, so I figured I could endure.

Ugh.

The majority was intolerable. Kanye and Daft Punk were awesome! Kanye's speech was great too, chiding them to turn off the "hurry up" music and when he started talking about his mama he really stuck it to them.

Breaking update: the death montage was stirring. Have now tuned out of the Pavarotti tribute.

Anyhoot. Tina and Beyonce was tolerable, would have been better without Ms. Bootylicious. The Time would have been better without whoever that was...

I never really thought Wilco would win, but the brief glimpse of Jeff Tweedy and Susan Miller in the crowd was pretty cool. I really thought Bruce would win, but hey, go Foo Fighters? At least Pat Smear is hanging with them again.

Then there's Amy. I really wanted to hate that album. I have this attraction to... women with issues? I don't know how to put it really. I mean, I like to party, I can understand how you can just... get caught up in that? Whatever. She can sing, she sang well, and I am glad she won those awards. She seemed nackered however.

In the old codger department: would you believe Little Richard is younger than Jerry Lee Lewis? Maybe Jerry Lee should hire his makeup artist!

VH 1 Classic's Top 20 of the 80s.

So far 2 videos in a row have featured a band member wearing the t-shirt of their own dang band. I always thought it was bad enough when fans wear the t-shirt of the band they are seeing, but can you imagine like the guy from the Shins wearing a Shins t-shirt? Maybe that would be some cosmical ironic paradox and the world would implode and we'd live out existence in the Eurythmic's "Sweet Dreams" video instead. When that video came out, I was 5 years old I think and I drew a picture of the Eurythmics and a cow.

I'm pressing stop now...

Fishbone doing a song based on "It's a Wonderful Life".

Crowded House! So far Neil Finn is the only person who can actually sing. They did "Don't Dream it's Over" and played a smidge of "World Where You Live" actually live, and now "Now We're Getting Somewhere". They are making it obvious that they are not actually playing, with over the top solos and windmills.

Bon Jovi are being piped in via satellite. They are all live, but Jon cannot sing for a damn. Whoa oh, living on a prayer. They are also a very sparkly bunch of guys. OOH! Pyrotechnics!@!

Wow, I think most everyone involved in this show was on something. Especially MTV personality Kevin Seal.

The Bangles are REALLY badly fake playing "Walk Like an Egyptian" but obviously are really really singing, as it's NOT GOOD. Oh, and there are midgets in the crowd doing the dance.

An MTV promo just aired about how people want to see less heavy metal, so they are putting it on mostly on Headbangers Ball. Currently the MTV logo is in the corner of the screen while old time movies of things blowing up. Glenn Fry is talking to a VJ from MTV Australia, and now he is introducing Cyndi Lauper who is wearing an awesome dress she might fall out of. She is presenting the "Experimental Video" award, and i think she just made a Captain Lou joke. Peter Gabriel beat out Huey Lewis's "Hip To Be Square". Tina Turner is presenting best male video via satellite from Chicago, I think she may have had a few bumps.

oh no Bryan is doing a second song, which I recognize. The power ballard "Victim of Love". It is getting more and more difficult to not fast forward, but I am determined to stick this out. He may be lip synching.

Oh lord. Bryan Adams is singing and not playing a song I have never even heard. It's the most non hit song of his I have ever heard.

Peter Gabriel is receiving the "video vanguard" award. I wonder where he keeps that statue?

The "pre show" was hosted by Penn and Teller. The opening performance was Los Lobos singing but not really playing "La Bamba". Julie Brown just introduced a Michael Jackson-dressed Howie Mandell who is now doing miserable stand up and giving the award for best new artist. Crowded House managed to beat Timbuk 3 and Bruce Hornsby and the Range!!

I will now provide a play by play of the 1987 MTV awards

Remember when MTV used to show music videos? Those were good times. I found a VHS tape marked "1987 MTV Awards" and will now provide you a written commentary. I had to fast forward through a first run airing of Cheers and Night Court. It then came on at the very end of Crowded House's "Don't Dream It's Over" followed by U2's "Where the Streets Have No Name" which was marked "exclusive". Mark Goodman told me to stay tuned for an airing of Michael Jackson's "Bad"... all 16 minutes which was proceeded by an ad full of 1-900 phone numbers to vote for the viewers choice. Oh good, the song just started. Sha-mon.